整整变成二十岁的前几天
陈乐怡问我
快要奔二了 有什么想法？

我告诉她
我一点也不想奔
因为离目标还好远好远
我觉得自己还需要很长的时间
加上思维并没有达到二十岁的人应有的成熟度
所以 没有很期待

所以
每一天都能变成比昨天好一丁点, 开心多一点的人
是我其中一个生日愿望

好久没有 Skype 父母
爸爸说 回去后要带我去 Bintulu 吃鸡脚
妈妈说我回去后要帮她收拾新家

好想念

至于 allan chai 吧 这么大了竟然还给我扮噁心的鬼脸
虽然高了很多 但是79 公斤也太重了吧

我要快点回家

不过回家之前 在教堂认识了一个超好的婆婆
她今天对我说了一句
以后有事找我 我一定帮你

让我开心了好久

要考试了
要加油啦 :D

Barfi!

我真的蛮喜欢看宝莱坞的电影

三小时绝不冗长， 因为带出的讯息不是港片或英文片所能媲美的

印度片的确有很多歌舞升平的场景

不过本人觉得印度歌还不赖

舞蹈更不用说啊 当然是很好看

不然为什么大家在文娱晚会时那么喜欢看印度舞

Barfi! 这部电影没有比 Aamir Khan 制作的电影好看

没有很多对白

没有轰轰烈烈的爱情

没有 撞车 失忆 父母棒打鸳鸯 这种狗血情节

也没有任何歌唱或舞蹈的情节

电影中的两人甚至没有好好地对对方说过完整的一句话

人物很平凡 看到中段时甚至觉得有点闷

却是第一个把我搞哭的爱情片

喜欢看电影 也看过不少爱情片
但至今都不能明白
为什么我在别人哭得一把鼻涕一把眼泪的时候
还可以只是单纯地觉得 哇噻这个男主角根本就帅爆啦
还一面嫌弃 这编剧也太厉害扯了吧

不要说心里泛起一阵涟漪
我甚至一点感觉都没有
看爱情片对我而言 就是请眼睛吃冰淇淋
仅此而已

不过还是很爱看啦 哈哈

每每看到这种影片
都会有种鼻酸的感觉

看多了
甚至觉得
难道这个世界上只有老年人和小孩还保有纯洁的心灵吗

不 就算牧师每个星期都在讲
“我们现在生活在一个越来越肮脏 越来越腐败的世界 blah blah blah”

我还是觉得
世界是美好的
只要你愿意打开心扉
每一件事情都能变得更加美好
哪怕就一点点而已

好想家啊

都差不多二十岁的年纪了 心胸还那么狭窄

狭窄的原因
是因为 往心里搁了太多太多的东西

把 none of my business 的杂物清掉吧

没有必要 也不能继续在意那么多


还有
我其实什么都知道

What goes around comes around

终于明白那是什么滋味

我明白了

而我绝对不要继续承担下去

Peace

 ❤

I tend to lose my way too frequently but I decided to go to Surry Hills alone last Saturday. 
Teo Teo said that is an area with a lot of drug addicts at night but who cares? (sounds too unrestrained haha)
I want to eat all the nice foods in Surry Hills.

homework I did so that I won't lose my way

How did a person with no sense of direction travel alone?

First, I charged my power bank the night before my so called 'adventurous day'.

Second, I brought along a headphone or else it would be really hard for my to listen what did the google map system said while walking along a busy street.

Third, I checked that I had enough cash with me so that I could hop into a cab if the worst situation happened. (was wondering if I could swipe my card in a taxi)

I missed the bus to the Railway Square in the morning so I waited at the bus stop for an hour for another bus to come. It was so cold that I keep felt like peeing. Ugh. Then I realised that I had to wave my hand to stop the bus in Sydney. I didn't do that back in Brisbane!

Took a 30 minutes walk to Crown Street, Surry Hills.
First stop was the Bills. Daniel from DanielFoodDiary said they served him the best scrambled egg ever so I decided to have a try.

waited for 45 mins before I got in

my breakfast at 1215pm

Called them a breakfast cause they were supposed to be my breakfast if I didn't miss my bus.
The only thing I like was the roasted tomatoes that I requested (costed me extra 4.50 dollar).

I prefer the cappuccino at Genie's and the scrambled egg was normal.
Overrated restaurant (in my opinion) probably because the owner is a celebrity chef.
And it was not worth it at all. Paid 22.90 dollar for these wth.


Next stop, Bourke St Bakery. 

loved the atmosphere

tables weren't fully occupied cause most people had takeaways

favourite cake of all time- carrot cake

Carrot cake isn't what this bakery is famous for but it was really sumptuous. Cream cheese wasn't too heavy. I bet their pies and tarts would be even more tastier coz they smelled like they were really yummy. 

Oh and one more thing I liked about this bakery: the staff complimented on my lovely bouncy hair. HAHAHA


Final stop, Gelato Messina. It is claimed to be selling Australians' favourite gelatos.

it was really crowded in the shop

tiny Mandarin sorbet - 3 dollar

Just one line for this sorbet:  Too sweet that I threw it away. LOL

taken outside a bookstore

At around 3pm, I walked back to the Chinatown to look for a friendly aunty at the information centre who helped the four of us last week.

Took a peek in the far distance to see whether she was on duty that day. After seeing her serving a group of chinese tourists, I bought a cup of 五花茶.

I kinda murmured when I appeared in front of her with a cup of liangteh (I was shy HAHA).
She probably thought I had difficulties in speaking english so she told me that I could use Mandarin. 

After telling her that I could communicate in English and reminded her that she gave us a lot of free postcards the week before, she finally remembered me. 

The first question that popped out from her mouth was: Oh so you want more postcards?

Of course not! The chat went on until her partner Martin came back with a bag of fruits.
Again, Martin is a really friendly angmoh with good sense of humour. I think they are made for each other  ❤


She couldn't drink the liangteh due to her health condition so I had to drink the liangteh myself until I was sibeh full. However, being able to meet Eliza again was certainly the happiest memory in my Sydney trip.

Martin tried ten times before this picture was taken

What do you care about the most in a vacation?
Definitely not the museums, art galleries and the historical buildings.

It is the people I meet.
I could still picture her telling Martin: 'This girl is a really lovely girl!' with her heavy Hong Kong accent.

Simple things make my day.

First, I made lamb patty for the first time and it tasted really good. roflll
I am gonna make homemade nutella after the exam! AHH

muahhhh

Secondly when puiyikshen wrote out the names he could think of randomlyy.. He thought of me! HAHA

Few days ago when Jian asked me whether I am still keeping in touch with PYS, I said no. 

He said 'I thought PYS is your bff'.
And very muka- tembokly I replied: I think I am still one of his bff gua although we don't chat much.

HAHA and this pic make me feel less muka tembok.

spot my name

Okay done with this short blogpost.
Off to study!

A beautiful day. 

I wanted to sponsor a child last year but somehow I just didn't get to do it. The urge didn't cease and I used to visit the world vision site when I felt boring. 

People can choose to sponsor a child based on the child's sex, age, country of origin, or even the date of birth. Or if you don't feel like choosing you can just click the "choose for me" link, and they will randomly choose a child for you.

I don't usually tell people about this, cause I think I will be 车ing 大炮 if I didn't do it in the end. However I told someone about my thought yesterday in the midst of chatting and he replied me with 'that's really kind of you'. The feeling of guilt emerged. If I am that kind I would have done it long ago. 

Plus, some people don't do it out of pure sincerity and I wondered if I am one of them. Since I really don't know the reason that keeps me hesitating all this while.

When I woke up today after having a bad dream, I visited the site again. Like usual, I clicked on the "choose for me" link and the picture of a cute little boy named Ulices Abel popped out. It certainly made my day.

He is 3 years old, from Honduras, born on 13 October 2012. 

And I immediately proceeded to the next step, which was the transaction part.
Obviously I did it cause he has the same date of birth as me haha. I really think it was destined since he popped out for the first time I clicked on the link. It was God's work.

Only after that I googled for the country which I have never heard of before. That is a really really far place near Brazil, with beautiful sea and all. It is more like a tourist attraction if you search for the images. For a second, I thought why would people from this place need to be sponsored, it looks like it is a land of prosperity. However, it is actually the second poorest country in Central America. 

There are a lot of countries that I don't know from the World Vision page, I didn't google them one by one. But one thing is for sure, there are countless less fortunate people out there drinking contaminated water while I am here savouring my coffee. 

My friend said it is a win win situation since I have to eat less 好吃到要哭的牛肉卷 (I will never give up on coffee!) to save up the money which I have to donate every month. Less food = less fat = price increase. 

Spending less part was correct but I think the value of a girl is completely independent of her weight. It is proportional to how great her personality is. (yeah it is easy to say this but I am still very concerned about my weight lol)

This is not a big deal at all cause what I did was so small. But I have always think that when you don't even start to do the so called small thing you will never reach the stage where you get to do the big things. 

There are too many things that I want to do and I will definitely work my ass off to achieve what I really want. 

And one of the thing I want to do is to see him in person one day :)

你怎么又哭了呢

I actually spent some time thinking whether I should get a cup of coffee and a slice of carrot cake before heading to the library and spend my whole day there, or to go to a cafe for a lunch then continue on with my PHRM 1020. 

Little do I know that most of the cafes in uni are closed during the weekends. And I have only two apples and some biscuits with me lol.

Anyway, it is a historical day for me. A person who has no sense of direction have decided to go uni by herself. When I say that I have no sense of direction, I am not exaggerating. Cause I still can't find my way to lecture halls after one semester, and I don't know which bus to catch except 139. And 139 is not available during the weekends (which I just realized yesterday after checking translink).

So why did I keep thinking about how to have my lunch? Coz I hate being alone. I would rather skip lunch if I would have to go somewhere alone to grab lunch. Same thing happens when I am walking alone, be it on the street or in uni, I just don't like it. Instead of using the word 'hate' maybe I am more 'afraid' of being alone.

Why did I come to uni by myself since I am not used to being alone?

Cause I would feel more lonely at home despite the fact that there are people in the house. Nope thats not even my home, my home is at Miri, Sarawak. The best place on earth. 

Like what I have mentioned in the previous post, I have chosen to live with it instead of grieving. Haha maybe not grieving thats a bit too serious. But yeaa I wont say that I am now having my sweet time alone cause I will never enjoy doing all things by myself. But I am coping.

Dear life. I am finding ways to love you more. & I am happy that you didn't fail me. 

(except that I have no enough food now :p)

had to tilt my head to one side coz my face has grown bigger.

Pimples on my face symbolise that I am studying.

I have locked my blog for like two weeks or so due to my previous blogpost which I think was too emo but still wanted to post it. Just so that people won't think that I am a emotional person.

However, the sad phase was over. It wasn't because of the monthly cycle which happens in every female, it is just me being stubborn.

Since I can't change anything about undesirable events that have already happened and are still happening, I guess I will just have to live with it.

I AM NOT GOING TO BE AFFECTED ANYMORE.

Hopefully.

I tend to think a lot in the bus. The journey to university is too long. I wish I can take out my lecture notes and start reading it but no it never happens. I am just too afraid of what people think about me.
But really, it is not being kiasu or whatever, I tend to concentrate better in the toilet, the bus and the library. Weird huh, but not so weird actually.

There are certain people who don't understand why would somebody study 'too frequent' or burn the midnight oil. Therefore those pitiful bunch of people was then categorised as kiasu because they spend more time studying.

For me thats not being kiasu. They concern more about their future than you do. It is not like they are all antisocial book worms.

Small minded people everywhere.

Okay it seems like I am the one who study too much but nope. I wish I do study that long too but I am too easily distracted and often ends up sleeping.

I like to drink coffee, but I have come to a point where I drink coffee not because I think it is nice (of course coffees are still nice, they are addictive), but it is because I don't wanna fall asleep at night.
My usual sleeping hours has been cut down from 8 hours to 4.30 hours. Yea that was normal for some people but not for me.

I feel like my liver or kidneys are gonna burst anytime soon.
Let them burst. I don't want pass. I want good grades.

我累了 想家了
终于来到了之前拼了命都要来的地方
却发现这里没有任何一件人事物属于我

青峰好像说过
幸福就是不要追求太多的幸福

哈 我觉得我对幸福的要求已经很低
唯一的答案就是蔡倩宜你太不知足

朋友说

照片里的你笑得很开心啊
别人拍照我当然不能摆出一副我其实很不想笑的样子啊

在澳洲念书 别人恨都恨不到 你是在钻什么牛角尖
你过去都离开家里两年了
从来都没有想家啊

不是想不想家的问题
更不是不是澳洲不澳洲的问题

而是 在这里我找不到一个属于我的地方

还在停留在过去
我们在一起上学的日子

奈于我实在不是一个习惯找人聊天的人
所以 她们应该都不知道
她们都太好
好得连我自己都没有想过 我会那么地想念她们

现在的我 每天都很想吃蛋糕
想吃吃了会让我开心起来的蛋糕

在蛋糕失效以前

是时候让心里变得更强壮

是时候 找回会真正开怀大笑的我

This is probably the so called 'saddest' period thus far in the 20 years of my life.

The thing is, I don't even know why.

Nope I am not having homesick. Nope I am not stressed up.
I have lots of quizzes and assignment at hand, and it seems like I'm never gonna complete them on time.
My to do list is always full and I have to add in a lot of tasks everyday. But I am definitely not having a big problem with them.

Now what. The only way to explain this is, it is just hormone imbalance.
Deep down inside I know it is just a really lame excuse.

It is just me and my tangled mind.
I certainly do know that there are lots of things that I should appreciate.
But I just don't.

See things in a different way won't I?
NOO I couldn't do so at this point.

WHAT IS THIS.