im in a stage of low confidence where i think i cant even get three Bs. damn it.

i want success as much as i wanna breath. 

i can do it i can do it.

读psychology的朋友说
每个人睡觉时都会做梦
一个梦通常半小时
假设你的睡眠时间为八小时
那你当晚就大概做了十六个不一样的梦

如果你一觉醒来
完全忘了刚刚做了些什么梦
甚至不觉得自己其实做了梦
那你就是在一段梦的中间被闹钟吵醒
或是你身体的机构告诉你是时候起床啦
三十分钟的cycle被打断
那就什么也记不起来

我很幸运
因为我通常都记得我的梦境
不过所做的梦都不带什么好兆头

至今
我已经梦见四个朋友死去
而且死法非一般的恐怖
有个在chemistry lab 被炸得什么都不剩
有个人的头在太平间的铁床上被刀锯开
也梦过自己被绑架杀死
梦过两班人马互相追杀
周围都是血肉模糊的尸体

我很怀疑
我的内心到底是不是很黑暗
梦到的
尽是些我平时看电影都不敢看的血腥画面
到底梦里的画面从何而来
我想不出个所以然来

昨天
我做了个我认为最恐怖的梦
这个梦里没有坏人 没有刀枪 连一滴血都没有
 有的都是我最珍惜的朋友
他们一个两个第指着我
对我说他们受够了我
他们讨厌我
他们对我的坏习惯已经容忍了很久

其实整个梦很长
我记得的就只有那掷地有声的一声声
“我讨厌你”

哈
我不会因此而怀疑我的朋友到底是不是真的讨厌我
而这个梦
恰恰提醒了我
朋友对我来说是多么地重要

我是一个很懒得跟别人联系的人
不过请相信我
每一个对我好的人
我都不会忘记
 :)

just wanna put some photos of myself aha

I've been telling myself to go exercise every time my pants get tighter but the last time I exercised was like err one years ago when I jogged with my mum? Can't really remember.
I never like jogging so swimming will be a better option. So yeap I went to swim alone today. The last time I swam was five years ago when Sonia and I attended swimming lessons together.
I didn't swim well last time and I swim even more worse now. For one and a half hour I only managed to swim a really short distance.

 For the first hour I can only swim from number eight to number six ngaidi -_-
After that I managed to swim from number eight to number one HOORAY.
Just realised I've forgot to draw another one to eight on the other end of the pool oh well nevermind. haha.

And this is Allan Chai with his birthday present from me - the super engdao pants haha. 
He doesn't look really fat in this picture but the size of his waist is 35 inches and thats really really biggg.

oh ya I've been listening to this song for few days:

Under My Breath

Chester See is so damn handsome ughh this Mv is soo sweet ugghh & his mum is from Philippines  okay stop I don't wanna be a nosy fan girl hahaha.
 Bye :p

OH ya another nice song from his is God Damn You're Beautiful, okay I'm some sort of fan girl but definitely not an obsessed one.