I am actually straining my eyes now. It is exactly 2am in the morning, instead of sleeping I've chosen to write something. I have three whole weeks to spend now before having my last two papers for AS. Frankly, I won't study (like really study) until the date is coming real close. 
Three whole weeks man, how am I going to spend three weeks in my life here. Friends are going back to their own hometown and for those who aren't going back, their parents will be coming over to visit them.
I've been persuading my mum to come here since weeks ago but due to all kinda reasons she ain't coming. She asked me to go buy things I want but but mum I've got nothing much to buy except prom dress.
Yeap I'm going to have outings with my classmates but I feel like going home..so badly.

I've been thinking and thinking. What's the ultimate purpose of life?
To live a happy life of course, but I can't seem to figure out what exactly should be done to make sure that I am going to be happy in the future.
To see my parents happy & to be able to make others feel happy?
Definitely. But I need more answers.

There is someone in India whom they call him a real hero.
He saw people in his hometown eating their own human waste while he himself is at other place serving his guests. Then he started to cook for those homeless people, bath them, shave them as well as giving them love and care. He mentioned that the meals provide physical nutrition but those without shelters and families are human being like us too, they need love. 

There was a boy called Zach Siobiech who died at the age of 18 (20 May 2013), leaving behind his beloved family and a beautiful girlfriend but promised to watch over them up in the clouds. Despite knowing that he will definitely die since there is no cure for his bone cancer, he lived his life to the fullest. He left behind a beautiful song called 'Clouds' and this song climbs to iTunes's number 1 just after a day he passed away. All the money earned will go into charity to help those kids who are diagnosed with the same disease. It is not his talent in singing or his disease that inspires people, it is all about his attitude in life. This guy lived shorter than me but I think my life, at this moment, is nothing compared to his.

A dying boy managed to seek happiness and spread love until his last breath, and I seriously think that I have no right to complain about anything around me. None of us has.

These kinda stories happen all around us every single day. Touch our soul, make us think. But how many of us actually sit down and seek changes in lives? I did, but seeking is not enough. I need to know what to do. I pray that someone will give me an answer asap.

I will know it someday :)

I couldn't stop listening to their songs, days and nights.
When I'm in the bus, studying, eating and blah.

Glen, Danny & Mark from "The Script".
It is an awesome band with three Irish singers.
They write songs with deep and meaningful lyrics, the melody is soothing and Danny's voice is sexy :P
The other two sing as well but Danny is the main vocalist.
I never break into tears when I'm listening to songs, and they didn't make me do that like what they did to the others. 
Still, they are exceptionally good.
If they appear to be in Malaysia I will definitely be overjoyed.

ARGH. 

这个世界很小很小

我们所居住的地球只是整个银河系里再也微小不过的一个小点

霍金所说的黑洞能够轻易地把地球吞噬

任何一个比地球大的行星以难以算计的机率撞击地球

地球上的每一寸草每一棵树甚至是最高的山都会在瞬间化为乌有

而手无缚鸡之力的所谓万物之灵更是无处可躲

这个世界很大很大

每一秒都有无数个新生命诞生

他们可能是未来一个很伟大的科学家哲学家

他们的智慧足够改变人类的未来

或许我们为此而不在担心天灾摧毁心爱的家园

而相信末日论者不再疾人忧天

担心天空几时会崩塌

火山几时会爆发

但是又是谁说只有他们的奋斗史值得被纪念？

我只知道

任何一个努力奋斗活出精彩的人生都值得被歌颂

这个世界上有千百种人类

他们有不一样的思维想法和生活习惯

当你开始对外面的充满竞争世界感到厌倦

对周围虚伪和不折手段的人感到恶心

是谁告诉你失败是羞耻的

只有胜利才能带来快乐？

又是谁忘了提醒你

充满爱心正义和友好的人们其实无处不在？

别人的生活很好很优渥

他们含着金钥匙出生

他们去过很多个你想去的国家

有过很多你想感受的经历

他们能用你十分之一的努力得到比你多几倍的东西

但是谁说他们的生活无忧无虑？

又是谁没有告诉你

其实你所羡慕的人偷偷地希望他们能有像你一样的生活？

这个世界充满色彩

红橙黄绿蓝靛紫偶尔再雨后的天空浮现

提醒着我们积极度过每一天

学堂里的小孩能用无限的想象力画出他们眼中美好无暇的世界

艺术家用画笔让全人类惊叹

我们透过彩色电视机探索我们接触不到的外界

但是又有几个人在绚丽的色彩中

活在只有他自己能够了解的黑色地带里？

人生很短很短

我一定要把他活的很精彩很精彩

不能让它有一丁点的灰色地带

加油加油 :) 

竟然就这样无缘无故地哭了起来
就连自己也不知道为什么

太多事情堆积在一起
都是很小很小的事情
甚至是很久很久以前
甚至是几年前的事情
但是我就是放不下来

我不想看到灯泡 薄荷糖 巧克力
不想去我们一起去过的地方
不想想起
但却一直想起

他们会认为我不在意
然后不断提起
其实我真的不在意他
只是在意自己为什么那么死脑经
逃避三个多月
从不用电梯
到终于用电梯但是从来不敢抬起头
到现在终于发现
原来自己自视过高

好啦都是自己拿来衰的

还有我真的很讨厌人家开他认为无伤大雅
但是其实很伤人家自尊心的玩笑
ignore 已经是我想到最好的应对方法

没有地方可以让我写了
twitter 都是我的朋友
一直想要做很开心的蔡倩宜
所以不能就这样毁了

不知道从什么时候开始
圆滑 事故 这两个词对我来说已经从贬抑词逐渐变成中性词

还是能够清楚分辨是非黑白
不过不再与'非'划清界限

从来不是我最讨厌的墙头草
不过已经开始检讨
不想得罪别人
*虽然严重有待加强

长大中
学习收敛中

And so after weeks and weeks of shutting myself in Casa Subang, I finished my AS trial yesterday.
No matter what is the outcome I shall be satisfied with it :D

Right after that I headed to Jogoya which I had always wanted to go since last year.
Eating good food is one of the most important things in my life but I have to say that the meal yesterday wasn't as good as I've expected. Maybe the place is too crowded because of the promotion. Maybe I don't know how to eat those so-called expensive food materials like oysters sashimi and abalone *feel so disgusted*. I got full after 40 minutes and actually forced myself to eat those cakes and ice-creams which are my all time favorite. Ya and I had my first haagen dazs yesterday but personally I like the RM1.05 MCD sundae cone more.

I have to say that going out is so very tiring as we usually spent one and a half hour waiting and taking the trains, LRTs and commuters (honestly I still can't differentiate them) and then half and hour of walking to our destination. Finally we got there and had a whale of a time for like half day and we realized that Oops the sky is getting dark we gotta get home really soon. And we have to spent at least two hours of waiting and walking again. Basically it's half day of waiting and half day of having fun. 

When the time I'm home it will be like 12am and believe me it's super duper tiring that I just wanna lay in my bed without taking bath and brushing my teeth. The only thing that makes me feel like going out again is that I love spending time with my friends and it sweeps all my tiredness away :) 

Actually I just got home from a movie in Summit. The cinema is so empty coz no one wanna visit summit I suppose :X There is nothing fun in there. 
Watched "Olympus has fallen" and it's really a fantastic movie but yea don't believe in me too much coz I think most of the movies are nice for me -.-

There were a lot of gunshot scenes in the movie. You can see lots and lots of bullets going through the men's head and blood spurting out. White walls turning red and all. Eeekk. I never like this kinda scene and so as usual I covered my eyes most of the time and just read the subtitles. I can hear the secret agent torturing the terrorists to get the information & it's exciting enough for me -.- If I don't cover my eyes and force myself to watch it I bet no one is willing to sit beside me next time coz they are already complain that I always grab their arms during the movie. I just can't help myself. HAHA. I actually pinched my friends last time and I know it was really annoying irritating. So I started hitting my thighs instead. 

To be frank I have always wanted to curse whenever I watch those bloody scenes but I controlled myself. Too bad I think I'm getting outta control recently. HAIH please lah I don't wanna start cursing. No hard feeling towards others who curse though. I think it's funny to hear them curse actually. Just that my mum told me that I can't curse and I've been telling Allan Chai not to curse otherwise he 死定了. HNG

I have a habit that every time I finished watching certain dramas or movies I will check out on the background of those actors and actress (mostly actors :P). I know that Tom Cruise is 51, Brat Pitt is 47, 郭晋安 48, 欧阳震华 51, 马国民 38 etc. okay now let's check if these are correct. Hmm two of them were wrong. Brat Pitt & 郭晋安 are already 49 -.- oh ya and the secret agent named Gerald Butler in the movie I watched just now is 44 HAHA

Anyway I am going back to Miri tomorrow to meet Evie Tan Allan Chai & Kenny Chai YEAH YEAH YEAH!
Two weeks after the holiday it will be the AS exam. After the AS exam I will have to catch up with the A2 work which is kinda tough. Three months after that I'm going to sit for A2 trial. It looks like there is still a long way to go but time is actually passing very very fast (I'm reaching 19 soon TT)

But I am enjoying my life and and happy with everything that happens around me.
YEAH!

考试时间真的是间隔太久
弄得我有一点不知道要做什么

两天前的一个晚上
李佳盈来和我一起过夜 *好暧昧*
十二点多的时候我们两个还不断地在玩 k歌达人
我承认我声音没有很好听但是 k歌达人这个 app 根本就在骗人
李佳盈根本乱哼一通分数竟然也能比我高

大概两点多才睡觉
睡眠不是很浅的我四点多时被窗外的声音吵醒
于是我跳过睡得很死的李佳盈
蹑手蹑脚地看向窗外
竟然看见外面大概有十几个人在吵架
用我不知道的语言 很用力很用力地吵
吵得住在第七楼的我也听得见
接着我听见好像有人被退向铁门的声音
虽然没有凄凉的叫喊声 但是我很确定他们在打架

我用力地摇醒李佳盈
问她应不应该要报警
结果发现她自己在四点被我吵醒的她
在一阵探头探脑之后
我发现她再一次陷入昏睡的状态

在我不知道要做什么的情况下
我拿起了电话
也不知道为什么就打给了贝育升
当电话被接通的那一刻
我还在担心会不会被骂
结果贝育升一点不爽的语气也没有
叫我报警或继续睡觉

写得有点七零八落
我想说的是
事情其实很简单
就算连 jian lor 都觉得我跟贝育升好像有一点不熟
就算我有时候也会怀疑自己对别人来说会不会很烦
但是 至少半夜四点多还有人会接我的电话

就只是这一点
我就觉得 蔡倩宜之前根本就是你自己在胡思乱想

好开心 超级开心 哈哈