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记得有一次，萧慧敏准备乘搭飞机出国，在过海关时和父母说了再见之后，她就一直往前走不敢回头再一次挥手道别；因为她知道，她一旦回头再见到凭栏处的父母，眼泪就会决堤，而她不希望父母看到自己流泪。可是，这次的“勇往直前”，却让母亲误会了。

“她曾和我提起，那次我没有回头跟他们说再见，觉得这个女儿真的是很坚强，而且独立得…… 是不是我不够爱这个家。” 回忆起这段往事，硬朗的一姐往往会不能自已地开始哽咽。“我听了很心酸，其实只是不敢把软弱的一面，在家人面前呈现出来。”

其实我写了又写 删了又删

却按不下publish

华语生锈了 表达能力退步了

想要说的是

我真的很想念我家

就算我不打电话回家

有时还暗暗耍幼稚希望妈妈快点whatsapp我

我还暗暗埋怨妈妈

怎么对我那么放心

觉得我很坚强

屁 

虽然没有很软弱 但是也没有坚强到那种程度好吗

虽然我第一次出国没有转过头说再见

可是妈妈该不会以为我那么想往外飞吧

我只是不想在她面前哭得那么丑而已阿

母亲节要到了

母情节快乐

当面说不出口的我爱你

就在这里表达吧 

你知道今天是几号吗？

我拿着 stock check 的纸和笔

问儿子刚出生六天的同事

他瘪一瘪嘴 转过头去  暗暗笑着却不想理我

就算他不想理我 

我还是拿着笔 在纸上的日期那一栏里一面写下 31 January 2015

硬是要告诉他

今天是三十一号 三十一号!

所以嘛

他说 我今天异常兴奋

今天肯定是我做工以来 笑容最多的一天

根本一直在店里傻笑

当然啊 三十一号过后 我的假期就来了

做了差不多两个月的工

我是多么想要睡到自然醒 然后有空可以做做蛋糕看看戏

最重要的是非常抗拒运动的我不会一下下就腰酸背痛

刚开始打了几天的工时

实在是不想再继续下去

工作范围并不是我所预料的

并没有给我机会学习到店里的药是干什么的 几时要吃  一次几颗

没有 最普通的发烧咳嗽肚子痛的药都没有

所以 一开始我真的真的很失望

加上又被脸很臭这个问题困扰

“你没有笑容所以看起来年纪比较大”

“你可以笑多一点吗？”

“你就算笑了脸还是比她没有笑的时候臭额”

这些都不要紧 我习惯了 不会生气  甚至感觉不错

因为人家就是觉得我不会生气才敢向我说这些的不是吗

但是竟然有人在我整理货仓的时候问我

“你做么 做到很生气哈 怨气很重哦？”

啊 我真的没有

我只是在很认真地检查

所以一直有点担心我在同事眼中会不会是一个很凶的 part timer

我想也没有没想到会越做越开心

今天是最后一天

竟然有个人为我流泪

叫我以后放假一定要回去打工

这个世界上除了我妈 还有李佳盈就没人为我哭过了
（况且李佳盈也不是只为我哭 是为整个PM20哭）

平时相处时 我们都很认真在点货 补货

并没有互相开玩笑

看着她和别的同事有说有笑

我在想 蔡倩宜 你认真的脸干嘛那么恐怖

人际关系真的很需要改进

不过要离开前的这个礼拜

她开始对我超级好

在我吃饭时间还没过却开始找货时一直叫我多休息

在我搬货时把男生找来帮我搬

在我拉肚子没上班后

她是唯一一个问我 dah okey ke? 的人

而且今天一直在告诉我

今天以后就不会再看见我了

她会想念我的

（告诉我 他会想念我的人也好少哦 哈哈哈）

真的超开心

有人叫我回去记得探望他们

还有几个人让我放假要再回去打工

有空的话一起打球喝茶拜年

所以我真的真的真的超开心

凡事都没有绝对 不是吗

我也并不确切地知道我在开心什么

不过大部分的原因 应该就是发现

我并不是一个每天准时上班下班的临时工

而是

一个离开后

他们至少几天之内还会想起

啊 Sheryl 已经没做了

有着存在感的

他们的一个朋友

整整变成二十岁的前几天
陈乐怡问我
快要奔二了 有什么想法？

我告诉她
我一点也不想奔
因为离目标还好远好远
我觉得自己还需要很长的时间
加上思维并没有达到二十岁的人应有的成熟度
所以 没有很期待

所以
每一天都能变成比昨天好一丁点, 开心多一点的人
是我其中一个生日愿望

好久没有 Skype 父母
爸爸说 回去后要带我去 Bintulu 吃鸡脚
妈妈说我回去后要帮她收拾新家

好想念

至于 allan chai 吧 这么大了竟然还给我扮噁心的鬼脸
虽然高了很多 但是79 公斤也太重了吧

我要快点回家

不过回家之前 在教堂认识了一个超好的婆婆
她今天对我说了一句
以后有事找我 我一定帮你

让我开心了好久

要考试了
要加油啦 :D

Barfi!

我真的蛮喜欢看宝莱坞的电影

三小时绝不冗长， 因为带出的讯息不是港片或英文片所能媲美的

印度片的确有很多歌舞升平的场景

不过本人觉得印度歌还不赖

舞蹈更不用说啊 当然是很好看

不然为什么大家在文娱晚会时那么喜欢看印度舞

Barfi! 这部电影没有比 Aamir Khan 制作的电影好看

没有很多对白

没有轰轰烈烈的爱情

没有 撞车 失忆 父母棒打鸳鸯 这种狗血情节

也没有任何歌唱或舞蹈的情节

电影中的两人甚至没有好好地对对方说过完整的一句话

人物很平凡 看到中段时甚至觉得有点闷

却是第一个把我搞哭的爱情片

喜欢看电影 也看过不少爱情片
但至今都不能明白
为什么我在别人哭得一把鼻涕一把眼泪的时候
还可以只是单纯地觉得 哇噻这个男主角根本就帅爆啦
还一面嫌弃 这编剧也太厉害扯了吧

不要说心里泛起一阵涟漪
我甚至一点感觉都没有
看爱情片对我而言 就是请眼睛吃冰淇淋
仅此而已

不过还是很爱看啦 哈哈

每每看到这种影片
都会有种鼻酸的感觉

看多了
甚至觉得
难道这个世界上只有老年人和小孩还保有纯洁的心灵吗

不 就算牧师每个星期都在讲
“我们现在生活在一个越来越肮脏 越来越腐败的世界 blah blah blah”

我还是觉得
世界是美好的
只要你愿意打开心扉
每一件事情都能变得更加美好
哪怕就一点点而已

好想家啊

都差不多二十岁的年纪了 心胸还那么狭窄

狭窄的原因
是因为 往心里搁了太多太多的东西

把 none of my business 的杂物清掉吧

没有必要 也不能继续在意那么多


还有
我其实什么都知道

What goes around comes around

终于明白那是什么滋味

我明白了

而我绝对不要继续承担下去

Peace

 ❤

I tend to lose my way too frequently but I decided to go to Surry Hills alone last Saturday. 
Teo Teo said that is an area with a lot of drug addicts at night but who cares? (sounds too unrestrained haha)
I want to eat all the nice foods in Surry Hills.

homework I did so that I won't lose my way

How did a person with no sense of direction travel alone?

First, I charged my power bank the night before my so called 'adventurous day'.

Second, I brought along a headphone or else it would be really hard for my to listen what did the google map system said while walking along a busy street.

Third, I checked that I had enough cash with me so that I could hop into a cab if the worst situation happened. (was wondering if I could swipe my card in a taxi)

I missed the bus to the Railway Square in the morning so I waited at the bus stop for an hour for another bus to come. It was so cold that I keep felt like peeing. Ugh. Then I realised that I had to wave my hand to stop the bus in Sydney. I didn't do that back in Brisbane!

Took a 30 minutes walk to Crown Street, Surry Hills.
First stop was the Bills. Daniel from DanielFoodDiary said they served him the best scrambled egg ever so I decided to have a try.

waited for 45 mins before I got in

my breakfast at 1215pm

Called them a breakfast cause they were supposed to be my breakfast if I didn't miss my bus.
The only thing I like was the roasted tomatoes that I requested (costed me extra 4.50 dollar).

I prefer the cappuccino at Genie's and the scrambled egg was normal.
Overrated restaurant (in my opinion) probably because the owner is a celebrity chef.
And it was not worth it at all. Paid 22.90 dollar for these wth.


Next stop, Bourke St Bakery. 

loved the atmosphere

tables weren't fully occupied cause most people had takeaways

favourite cake of all time- carrot cake

Carrot cake isn't what this bakery is famous for but it was really sumptuous. Cream cheese wasn't too heavy. I bet their pies and tarts would be even more tastier coz they smelled like they were really yummy. 

Oh and one more thing I liked about this bakery: the staff complimented on my lovely bouncy hair. HAHAHA


Final stop, Gelato Messina. It is claimed to be selling Australians' favourite gelatos.

it was really crowded in the shop

tiny Mandarin sorbet - 3 dollar

Just one line for this sorbet:  Too sweet that I threw it away. LOL

taken outside a bookstore

At around 3pm, I walked back to the Chinatown to look for a friendly aunty at the information centre who helped the four of us last week.

Took a peek in the far distance to see whether she was on duty that day. After seeing her serving a group of chinese tourists, I bought a cup of 五花茶.

I kinda murmured when I appeared in front of her with a cup of liangteh (I was shy HAHA).
She probably thought I had difficulties in speaking english so she told me that I could use Mandarin. 

After telling her that I could communicate in English and reminded her that she gave us a lot of free postcards the week before, she finally remembered me. 

The first question that popped out from her mouth was: Oh so you want more postcards?

Of course not! The chat went on until her partner Martin came back with a bag of fruits.
Again, Martin is a really friendly angmoh with good sense of humour. I think they are made for each other  ❤


She couldn't drink the liangteh due to her health condition so I had to drink the liangteh myself until I was sibeh full. However, being able to meet Eliza again was certainly the happiest memory in my Sydney trip.

Martin tried ten times before this picture was taken

What do you care about the most in a vacation?
Definitely not the museums, art galleries and the historical buildings.

It is the people I meet.
I could still picture her telling Martin: 'This girl is a really lovely girl!' with her heavy Hong Kong accent.